20060918 - Cooldragon vs the WolfSpider
OMfGs!
FIRST of all, do you have a plastic cup or glass around?
Ok, now try to measure the opening on that thing…
ok IT WAS ALMOST THAT BIG! My daughter found a ‘wolf spider’ and screamed loudly… I looked in that direction knowing by her scream that it was a spider; wife also come by, and all three of us just stared with open jaws at that thing, IT WAS /BIG/… easilly about 3 inches in diamater, it was FAT, GREY, HAIRY and _UGLY_ motherfucker!
Ok… so I took the plastic cup to try to pick it up and release it outdoors, but when both girls cried in unison “KILL IT!”, and one of the two had a flyswatter, I took the flyswatter… looked at the plastic cup in one hand… then looked at the spider that was almost as big as the cup’s opening… I considered that the thing could either escape or jump at me, making a bigger fuzz… I took the decision to use the flyswatter and making the necessary mental calculations like all good scientists/fencers… S-P-L-A-T!!!
THE BIGGEST OF ALL HORRORS, the thing just BURSTED all over my arm and face.
I could not stop screaming in horror and disgust, so I ran upstairs with one eye closed due to the guts of the damn spider oozing over my right eye, and jumping in the shower with clothes on.
I had a leg twitching IN MY EAR… the guts clingning to my face, fluids and hairs on the arm which had the flyswatter… OMfGs THE HORROR and how fucking GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
These things are not poisonous, but they do bite, and the legs and hairs gave me plenty of itching hours….. EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
So, how was YOUR day?
Here is a picture of this thing:
http://www.ento.okstate.edu/ddd/insects/wolfspider.htm
Now, if you would excuse me… I need to scratch plenty and some visual therapy to clear out the mental images, like kittens or blue sky or flowers and other pretty things.
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May the Force of the Dragon’s Spirit be With You!
- CoolDragon )O(